I read about this specific idea in the Celestine Prophecy. It explains that everyone has a way that they act when they try to control a situation or another person in order to gain energy back. There are four different control drama categories. The four dramas are:
3. Poor me attitude
From the Celestine Prophecy there is this notion that we all have one of these that we implement in order to get energy to come to us. As people play into someone else’s control drama they give that person there full attention and this sends that person their energy to the one whose control drama is being used. The first step is to figure out which control drama it is that you tend to use the most which one seems the most natural to you. Let me break down the four first.
Interrogators of course use their control drama to ask questions but the answers they want to these questions are already in their heads. So, if a person answers “wrongly” they will continue to berate that person with more questions or chastise that person for not having the right answer. Interrogators can be very critical people. The feeling you get from people who use this control drama is a feeling of being drained and as if you can never do anything right. Interrogators would not have received much attention from parental figures unless they relentlessly asked them questions getting them to communicate with them.
I personally was raised by a mother who is very much an interrogator. I remember her asking questions all the time- instead of natural flowing dialogue it was a lot of times forced or not at all. I still find myself being very aloof at times when she asks me questions because the answers to them were never enough or followed by another question. Growing up this led to me questioning myself and led to me mistrusting myself.
Intimidators are the most aggressive control drama. The user will try to scare you into playing into their control of the relationship. The manipulation of this control drama can lead to violence as the intimidator will even go as far as harming you to control you or a situation. Aggression and attitude – anger is often what one will feel when dealing with someone who is ruled by this control drama. Usually the only way an intimidator could gain energy as child from parental figures is from lashing out and anger.
Poor Me control drama is very passive. People who are poor me manipulate by getting others to feel sorry for them this allows them to get sympathy from others and this sympathy in turn gives them energy. It also makes you and the person in the poor me drama connect on an emotional level which connects the two people involved. Again a person with a poor me control drama was likely to not receive attention or energy from parental figures unless they received it in from some sort of sympathy from being hurt or something along those lines.
Aloof control drama makes people to play into the game by being mysterious acting distant and unreadable therefore luring the other person involved into wanting to connect with them. This allows for the person playing into it this drama to give all their attention to the person using this drama. A person who is aloof will give vague answers or comments in a conversation giving little to no detail saying only things like “I had class” but never any specifics. To see if someone is playing this game with you or is just uninterested is if they respond vaguely and you walk away or change the subject that will be the end of it however an aloof person will try and pull you back in by giving you just a little bit more information getting you interested again in the original question or dialogue.
In order to really know which control drama is the main one you specifically identify with and use the most one must first figure out what control dramas their parents used because this push and pull of energy from your parents or parental figures is what then in turn creates a control drama in the child or children associated. As I stated before my mom is very much an interrogator however my dad is a little harder to feel out I think his drama is somewhere between intimidator and interrogator. Mostly, intimidator. Like most black men my dad was raised and brought up thinking emotions were not masculine he in turn ruled over us in a very strict way. I know that my father loves me and my siblings there weren’t ever times I feared for my life but there were times I did feel that aggression and scare tactics that are associated with the intimidator control drama. It was always his way or no way there was no in between.He didn’t believe in children having opinions. Having an interrogator mom and an intimidator father led me to be aloof and have a poor me dominant control drama.
I know that poor me is my dominant control drama because when I can drag someone into feeling sympathy for me or someone into wanting to protect me whether the danger is real or imagined I feel loved because I’m receiving that attention and energy from others. I noticed that I specifically do this in my romantic relationships while in my other relationships with family or friends I tend to be aloof. A lot of times because the masculine energy towards me (from my father) was aggressive I tend to want (need) in some ways loving energy from men (hence the poor little me drama) while with females I tend to be aloof and hold my female relationships at a distance as to not be criticized like I was with my mother.
The first step to not feeding into or using your own control drama to manipulate people to be aware of your own drama once you are aware become conscious of how you react when you aren’t getting your way or feel like you don’t have control. Vice versa pay attention to when you feel drained or unsure when dealing with others. And pay attention to the energy you feel in your interactions this will help you to recognize others control dramas and not give into the drama.
The reason for control dramas in the first place is a lacking of energy. People use these devices to gain back energy however there is an abundance of energy for everyone that is found in the source once we all become aware of this the take of control will fall away and we will all then have all the energy we all need coming from the source but one must first tap into it. The source is many things for different people whether it is God, nature, creativity. There is an abundance of energy at our fingertips that is love if we become aware the need to manipulate and control others will fall away..